My And Then There Were None Story
by Pearl the Barrister
Summary: Enraged by Agatha Christie's "inflated" and "exaggerating" portrayal of the events at Indian Island, the 8 remaining "victims" file a lawsuit-and publish their OWN version of what they say really happened that weekend. Rated T, Dramedy.
1. Idyllic

**My And Then There Were None Story**

**a fanfiction by Pearl the Barrister  
**

Note: I am sort of trying to make fun of ATTWN, but not in a mean way (AC is one of my favorite authors!). So enjoy!

* * *

Vera Claythorne walks into the bookstore with her lips pressed in a straight line. She's been walking around like that ever since Lombard told her the news a few days earlier.

It's an old second-hand bookstore, really musty. Everything's covered in a thick layer of strange-smelling dust. Vera ignores the cashier's whispered "Hi" and walks--no, marches--straight to the MYSTERY AND ROMANCE section. There is a variety of hardcover books, but Vera ignores them, walking straight to the main bit- the paperback section.

She rifles through the selection until she finds the one she wants. She flips through it, making little sounds of astonishment and annoyance now and then. Finally, she snaps the book shut with two fingers and takes it to the counter, paying two pounds for it.

The spine says:

AND THEN THERE WERE NONE

* * *

"Ugh!" groans Vera. "This sucks!"

Lombard nods. "I know what you mean."

Dr. Armstrong cuts in. "But what can we do? I mean, it's not like she broke any laws."

"But how did she find out?" asks the judge slowly. It's an interesting question. One none of them can answer.

"Well, at any rate," says Marston slowly, "she got the facts wrong. 8 of us are still alive, aren't we?"

They nod slowly, unsurely. The only ones not there are Mrs. Rogers and the Colonel.

"I think we should sue," announces Vera.

"But why?" asks Lombard. "What good would that do?"

"Look," says Vera. "It says here that this is the eighth best-selling book of all time. Obviously, it's made an oodle of money. We could sue and get the money. Plus, our reputations would be bettered, because then people would know what would happened."

"But what if they don't believe us?" asks someone.

"They will. For starters, we're still alive, aren't we?"

More nodding.

"Then it's settled," announces Vera proudly.

The others are not so sure.

* * *

Coming next: CHAPTER TWO ~ NUREMBERG|TRIAL BY FISHCAKES

R and R!

* * *


	2. Evidence

Chapter two- Evidence

{to Jane Poirot: okay, I am going to include a small excerpt from one of your stories here. hope you don't mind, if you do, I'll get rid of it on--just say the word. again, sorry if this offends you, and i'll take it down at your discretion}

* * *

_WIKI WIKI WIKI- A SITE OF WIKINESS_

**_Agatha Christie_**_ is a British author of mystery and crime fiction--_

_--famous for her novels Murder on the Orient Express, 4.50 From Paddington, and _Ten Little Indians/And Then There Were None_, among others--_

_--married Max Mallowan in 1945--_

_--lives in--_

"THERE! RIGHT THERE!"

Vera points to a spot on the screen that lists Agatha Christie's place of residence. "Does it say who her lawyer is?"

Lombard looks for a second, then shakes his head. "No."

"Darn. We'll need to know, to file the right forms and all."

The 8 'victims' are doing research for the case. Actually, it's only the Colonel, Lombard, and Vera, and the Colonel's asleep (and talking in his sleep, too). As you may have guessed, Vera's gotten a little TOO into it. After about fifteen minutes, they've discovered two things: one, an Australian lawyer named Belinda Mackenzie who will take on the case cheap; and two, the name of AC's lawyer, Apollo Justice.

Vera's reached the end of her rope. "Okay, Phillip, now what? We've analysed the book top-to-bottom and read all about Ms. Christie online. Now what?"

Lombard shrugs. "Fanfics?"

Vera tilts her head to the side. "What's a fanfic?"

* * *

_By the time Vera realized what she had said Lombard already had a look of astonishment on his face. She blushed and muttered, "Now you know." She began to walk out of the living room, her face burning. Why had she said that? She had known it to be true ever since her morning walk with Philip three days ago...but what would he say now that he knew?_

"WHAT?!?!?!" screams Vera, hastily flinging her arms over the computer screen before Lombard can see. "That's--but--how can she--" Obviously, there's some truth in the words on the screen--if you knew what she said (hint-hint).

Vera and Lombard are looking thru a veritable goldmine of ATTWN fanfictions, a surprising number of which are written by a certain person.

"Who wrote this story?" demands Vera, scrolling up before Lombard can actually see what she was trying to cover up.

_written by JANE POIROT_

"This woman's guilty of..." Vera tries to remember what it's called... "Copyright infringement! No, wait...ah, slander!" Suddenly Vera perks up. "We'll sue her too! In fact, Phillip, look at every single one of these, er, writers and write their names down! Add them to the lawsuit! And what's the site's name?"

"."

"Add them too! In fact, we're going to SUE THE WORLD!" Vera bursts into hysterical laughter.

"Uh, Vera? I think you're going a little too far."

Shrug. "Whatever."

* * *

next chapter: AND THEN THERE WAS A MULTIMILLION DOLLAR LAWSUIT


End file.
